Strictly Business
by Tobiume
Summary: Ten years post-war, Hermione has a career bettering elvish welfare at the Ministry. Unfortunately, she must write to the Malfoys to bring their elf in for a mandatory meeting. She hopes Draco's wife Astoria will reply, but to her chagrin, she receives post from Draco himself. The two become unlikely correspondents and begin to share more with each other than either expected.
1. At Your Earliest Convenience

**A/N:** This fic is a joint effort between two authors. Tobiume is writing as Hermione Granger and Harmonic Friction is writing as Draco Malfoy. It is ten years after the war, in a slightly A/U reality (but maybe not?). Some chapters will have multiple letters and some will have one as the story develops. We authors know each other personally and will be meeting in character to map out how we want "behind the scenes" parts to go, so that instead of simply a typical letters fic (which sometimes becomes more of a RPG where one person is leading the other and the background details make little sense) we will both know the ins and outs of what happened. We're very excited to apply a hobby of acting/cosplay and also a mutual love for writing (not to mention Tobiume relating to Hermione and HF relating to Malfoy) to a collaborative project. We hope you enjoy reading. Feedback is greatly appreciated. Please read and review.

**Warning:** Rated T. Some foul language, suggestive themes, mischief.

* * *

**_Strictly_. Business. **

..

* * *

October 15, 2008._ (Sent: 7:58 am.)_

Dear Mr. Draco Malfoy,

It has come to our attention that you have still not brought your house-elf to the required annual meeting. As you know, over the past few years, the Ministry has been working to improve circumstances for house-elves, and all families who have a house-elf in residence must accompany their elf to a meeting in which standard living conditions and fair treatment are discussed.

I know you wish to comply with the Ministry's regulations, and I'm sure it's only coincidence that all three of our previous letters have gone answered. I'm certain that this letter will reach you, and that you will of course reply at YOUR EARLIEST CONVENIENCE by returning the attached sheet with the date and time most convenient to you.

We eagerly await your correspondence.

Sincerely,

Hermione Granger

Ministry of Magic

Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures

House-elf Liaison Office

* * *

October 15, 2008. _(Sent 6:13 pm.) _

Dear Granger,

I am writing today with my sincerest and deepest apologies to you and the rest of the talented and esteemed so-called _House-Elf Liaison Office _(that would be all one of you, I presume?)_. _Until this weekend, I figured your mail had gotten lost in the post, until I happened upon what appeared to be burned remnants of three similar letters in my fireplace. This, I can assure you, was not on purpose. You see, I take house elf rights very, very seriously and I promise that elvish welfare is the most pressing matter in the entire world to myself and my family. We wouldn't dream of a more interesting or more taxing issue to the wizarding community than that of our beloved house elves' fair treatment.

I would very, very much like to schedule a meeting with you on the nearest date possible, but unlike most of the sheep you solicit for time I happen to have an esteemed position at my place of business where I am very much needed. It may behoove you to know that my wife, Astoria Malfoy, takes care of trivial matters such as these and thus you can reach her directly via the same address you used to genially ask for my response. I just really haven't the time for matters like my elves, however very pressing an issue this may seem to you and yours.

Feel very free to respond to this post at YOUR EARLIEST CONVENIENCE. 

Or, to put it more plainly, NEVER.

VERY VERY cordially,

_D. Malfoy_

_Healer_

_Saint Mungo's Hospital __for the Treatment of Magical Maladies and Injuries_


	2. A Meeting

October 16, 2008. _(Sent: 7:35 am.)_

Malfoy,

Well, it may behoove _you _to know that my department (of which I am _not _the only member) has already written to your wife. In fact, we wrote to her first, so that we would not have to bother you, as of course you must be very busy doing…whatever it is you do in your spare time (I see that you're a healer at St. Mungo's, and while I wouldn't have expected you to have a career, especially not one _helping _people, I must commend you). However, Mrs. Malfoy very kindly directed me to contact you, giving me to understand that the affairs of house-elves are, in fact, your business.

I suspect your expressed concern for house-elves is largely exaggerated, as I could practically feel your sarcasm dripping off the parchment. That is why it is so important that you attend the meeting, since obviously you could not care less if house-elves continue to be exploited and treated unfairly.

And while it doesn't surprise me in the least that you would burn, without reading, official communication from the Ministry of Magic, I feel I must inform you that the letters will persist until you have attended to this matter.

Hermione Granger

Ministry of Magic

Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures

House-elf Liaison Office

* * *

October 16, 2008._ (Sent: 8:52 pm.)_

Dear Ms (Mrs?) Granger,

I was naïvely unaware that you had already contacted Mrs. Malfoy until I received your post today. When I casually brought the letter into conversation over tea this evening, she very quickly responded that as "trivial matters" are "my specialty" she decided she'd pass the task back to me. When I reminded her who you were and exactly how I feel about you, Ms (Mrs?) Granger, my wife responded that it is, and I quote, "high time" for me to "fight my own battles".

On top of possessing a sense of humor splashed with rapier wit, my wife finds me to be somewhat socially unsound and is in the habit of meddling in my affairs to make certain I am "acting nice" in public. How lucky for you, Ms (Mrs?) Granger, that you shall have my company then instead of Astoria's. I was, in all honesty, attempting to make both your life and my own easier by not showing my face anywhere near your blasted office but it seems fate is pushing us together yet again. Lucky me!

Sarcasm? _Never!_ How I look forward to being educated on all things elf! I am realizing now that I have never known excitement until this moment because I am waiting with baited breath for our glorious meeting! Thrill of thrills!

Though it pains me to do so, Astoria wishes me to write now that she is "truly sorry".

Very Cordially,

_D. Malfoy_

_Healer_

_Saint Mungo's Hospital for the Treatment of Magical Maladies and Injuries_


	3. Far Less Loathsome

A/N: We really appreciate the added alerts, favs, and feedback. Keep the reviews coming! -Tobiume & Harmonic Friction

* * *

October 20, 2008. _(Sent: 5:56 pm.)_

Malfoy,

First, I suppose I should admit that I'm surprised you even showed up to our meeting, much less actually remembered to bring your house-elf. However, ordering your house-elf to remain in the corner and "keep your socks tidy" is exactly the kind of behavior we are working to improve. House-elves are just as intelligent as we are, and shouldn't be treated as children or lesser beings. Clearly, we have a lot of work to do.

I have to say that I was quite annoyed with your constant attempts to pry into the details of my life. It's none of your business why Ron and I separated, and even if it were, it was still _absolutely irrelevant _to our meeting. Also irrelevant is whether I am currently seeing anyone, or not, and I can't think of any possible reason why this should interest you.

It was beyond high-handed of you to send my assistant out for alcohol (could you really not wait until you got home?). Was it absolutely necessary for you to drink half a bottle of Firewhiskey? I was rather embarrassed for you when your house-elf had to help you out the door.

Since we only briefly touched on the business of house-elf relations, it will (unfortunately) be necessary for us to meet again. I hope that at our next meeting you will be able to conduct yourself more professionally (and not treat this as if it were all some enormous joke, as my department _is _trying to achieve important results).

That said, you are far less loathsome than I remember you being at Hogwarts.

Hermione Granger

* * *

October 21, 2008._ (Sent: 1:06 pm)_

Hello Granger,

My deepest apologies if I acted, in your eyes, irresponsible. I merely felt that your assistant should be utilized, as I am guessing you believe in some sort of "office assistant welfare" and allow her to sit twiddling her thumbs all day. Did you not see the smile on her face when someone actually gave her a job? I was doing your assistant a favor. Along those lines, I am not exactly sure why you would feel embarrassment when my house-elf "had" to do exactly what he is supposed to do. He certainly was not embarrassed. You can rest easy, my dear Granger.

I am not entirely certain whether I should view being considered "far less loathsome" by you a compliment. Further, it pains me to inform you that you are just as much of a bossy perfectionist as you were at Hogwarts but the upside is that rather than making my mind hurt, I actually found your inane prattling and attention to detail somewhat endearing. I suppose I should have my head checked straight away. There is most definitely something the matter with me.

You treat house-elves more fairly than children? No wonder your marriage with Weasley fell through the cracks! (Kidding, of course. I find children to be lesser beings, too. At least house-elves are born ready to serve. I have been finding lately that children are not. I am very disappointed—my son is two years old and cannot fetch me my bedroom slippers or make me a drink. You know, Granger, you have a point with this house-elf intelligence business. Now if only you could train children to perform house-elf duties as well! That is something I would actually be interested in.)

I am not, as you know, opposed to being rude when it suits me, but I do apologise for inquiring too deeply about the nature of your separation. I suppose I thought yourself and Weasley would be one of those awful couples who does everything together and wears matching jumpers around Christmastime, and the fact that you have left him baffled me. I expected you would still be attempting to best me in every area and when I heard news of your engagement to Weasley years ago, I figured you had done it again.

Still, I suppose you may have won all the same. I do not know the details, but you had unhappiness in your marriage and you left it. I really do admire your gumption.

If you could meet with me this coming Friday, I would be all ears. I will even bring a notebook that I shall devote to elvish rights. I will also attempt to refrain from making too many disparaging or distracting remarks though that will be a challenge. As much as I try, I _do _view your job as a joke but I understand that I should try to behave myself.

Sincerely,

_D. Malfoy_


	4. Loosen You Up

A/N: First in-depth character meeting happened this past weekend. We had fun bantering, answering questions, and developing chemistry as Hermione and Draco. I cannot confirm nor deny whether firewhiskey was involved. ;) - HF.

* * *

October 21, 2008. _(Sent: 9:35 pm.)_

Malfoy,

My assistant is very busy! She delivers notes, mails letters, arranges meetings, and is currently involved in the final stages of our proposal to allow house-elves to carry wands. My embarrassment stemmed mostly from the fact that you became so intoxicated in the middle of the day that you _had _to be helped home. If your elf is being treated fairly, then I have no objection to him performing his job. (But did you thank him when he got you home safely? I imagine you forgot.)

_Inane prattling?_ I'm sure my conversation is much more intelligent than that of your trophy wife. I suppose you mean me to be flattered by your comments, but your social skills are sadly lacking, Malfoy. You have no idea how to compliment someone. Or perhaps it was your intention to ruin the compliment. Either way, you're still loathsome. Just somewhat less dreadfully so.

I said nothing about treating house-elves less fairly than children. I said that they shouldn't be treated _as _children. House-elves are fully grown beings, while children still need our guidance. This is exactly why we need new legislation: people (like you) think that house-elves are less than us because they are not human, when in fact they are just as intelligent as we are, and just as magically strong, if not more so.

Furthermore, I find your opinion of children offensive. Children are not meant to be little servants. I must say that I can't really picture you as a father, Malfoy… You seem rather too self-involved.

Matching jumpers and constant companionship are all very well, to a point. But (and I have no idea why I'm telling you this – I must also need my head examined) it leads to constant bickering. And there are only so many times I can hear "My mum makes this pie so well. You should get the recipe from her." Some of us have important jobs and better things to do than learn how to make a perfect steak-and-kidney pie!

Are you telling me that you would like to leave your marriage, but haven't the courage? Courage _is _a Gryffindor trait, after all.

Very well, Malfoy. I'll give you another chance. I hope you will, in fact, behave yourself this time. Shall we meet for coffee Friday at six? There's a tiny, out-of-the-way coffee shop behind Ollivander's… I believe that would work nicely.

Hermione Granger

* * *

October 22, 2008._ (Sent: 10:25 am.)_

Hello, Granger!

House elves carrying wands? I really cannot wait to discuss that idea with you in full for I have a few choice words for you. That sounds like quite a horrific prospect, and I can assure you that having the opinion of someone like me (who, unlike yourself, was raised with house elves in my home my entire life) will be statistically beneficial. And for your information, Granger, I _did _in fact thank him for getting me back to my estate. If there is one thing I do understand about house elf liberation, it is that I should remain on the good side of all repressed creatures in case they decide they'd like to stage an uprising.

Self-involved? I work long hours and am generally under much stress. I do not sleep as much as I should and my free time is consistently sabotaged by terrible social affairs, my darling son, or activities my wife cooks up that we _"just have to do". _So, I am wondering what is so blasted wrong with enjoying a few stiff drinks in the afternoon. Is being _judgmental _a Gryffindor trait, my dear Granger? You are a parent. Surely you can grasp the concept that it is joyful to be away from my family for several hours in the company of an adult who, while a complete bossy boots, can carry on a conversation that does not include the words "potty-training", "nappies", or, the _very _dreadful "Draco, dear, we _need_ to have a discussion" (ugh!). I was merely enjoying what little time I had to myself on my day off, and I really do not care whether you find that worrisome. You should try it sometime, Granger. It might loosen you up a bit, which would be very intriguing indeed.

As much as I am amused by your assumptions that, _A._ you are an intelligent conversationalist and _B. _that I would have a trophy wife, I would like to inform you that Astoria is much more than that. She is an avid socialite, an attentive mother, and a smart woman to boot. There are upsides to our union that I must not deny. But Astoria and I have more of a partnership than an intimate marriage. It is what it is, I suppose. It could be much worse, for we have certain arrangements that make it worthwhile. It was important for me to find a suitable woman whose family was not involved in the war, and who could be a respectable wife. Respectable women are hard to come by, Granger.

_"Important jobs and better things to do"_ indeed. Might I point out that this quote of yours sounds slightly, you guessed it, _self-involved_? After all, Weasley has been nailed to your side for the past fifteen or so years… and you won't even learn how to make a proper steak and kidney pie for the poor bastard?

I may be delusional but I have a hunch you and Weasley are no longer an item for reasons a bit deeper than pies.

You can tell me more about your broken marriage on Friday. See you there.

Very cordially,

_Draco Malfoy_

PS: Please pass on a hello to Potter. He basically ran away after I tried to make eye contact with him last weekend in Flourish and Blots. I sadly could not pass on to him how happy I am that his praises are not being sung in my face every ten seconds anymore and that he must be as relieved as I am that he is no longer on the front page of every newspaper.


	5. An Apology and A Rebuttal

October 22, 2008. _(Sent: 12:43 PM.)_

Malfoy,

I will not be telling you about my "broken marriage" on Friday. In fact, I have half a mind to call our meeting off, since I find it likely you will avoid any discussion of house elves once again, except, of course, to disagree with me on every point I make.

I would find it much easier to feel sorry for you (which I'm sure was your intention) if you had not feel the need to slip in an insult every few sentences. I do not need to "loosen up", thank you very much. I have a child, too, as you know. I perfectly understand working long hours and coming home to more work, which is often more stressful than the job one has just left. Yet, I have no need to resort to excessive consumption of Firewhiskey to enjoy myself. (Although, it must be said that I haven't actually thought about enjoying myself in quite some time.)

It isn't self-involved in the least to expect one's husband to attend to _some _of the household duties. If he wants a pie, why shouldn't he learn to make it himself? It isn't fair in the least that _I _be expected to learn to cook well just because I'm a woman.

As for your "hunch", there are many reasons why Ron and I are no longer together, but I will inform you that our relationship is now perfectly cordial. We see each other on weekends and are quite friendly. It isn't the dramatic separation I feel you may be envisioning.

And I am not a bossy boots. Of all the childish insults! I don't recall telling you to do anything, and I wouldn't dare presume that you would listen to me, should I tell you to do anything.

After the way you treated Harry for so long, you can't really be surprised that he ran from you. He isn't in the habit of chatting to former Death Eaters in bookstores.

Hermione Granger

* * *

October 22, 2008._ (Sent: 5:26 PM.)_

Dear Malfoy,

I apologize for my earlier letter. It was rather rude of me (especially my bringing up Death Eaters). I missed lunch and was short with everyone today. Although your manner and opinions remain objectionable, you have been (for the most part) polite. We can speak more on Friday.

Hermione Granger

* * *

October 22, 2008. _(Sent: 7:38 pm.)_

Hello, Granger,

I'd been wondering what to say to you since I recieved your owl. Although I have recieved your second letter, please allow me to make a rebuttal. I did _not_ ask for, nor do I need, your sympathy. That was most certainly not my intention. If I wanted your sympathy, I could get it—easily. And you'd be none the wiser.

Regarding our meeting, I do not need to consume alcohol to enjoy myself. Are you implying I am an alcoholic!? That would be rich as I recall you were very non-judgmental toward your old friend Hagrid, and the man was constantly as dry as a lake. I merely enjoy a cocktail whilst I relax—and being that our meeting was hardly important, I figured it would be the perfect time (only half-serious!).

I must say, I nearly wet myself with joy upon reading that you have remained cordial with Weasley. How your dramatic life thrills me! Part of me wants to think you are omitting details to save face, but I honestly believe you haven't got the imagination for that.

However, I am slightly mystified by your (albeit somewhat short and slapdash) apology. Not only did it show that I am still capable of stirring you up, it displayed extraordinary character on your part. I never miss my lunch, and I am consistently short with everyone. You are, not surprisingly, a truly good person. But if you feel guilt over a few (well-deserved, I'm sure) harsh words toward me, you surely _do _need be loosened up a bit. So might I suggest the lounge between Knockturn and Diagon (The Moon White Mermaid)? Coffee is all well and good, but a cocktail is much more fitting for a Friday evening. If you'll allow me, I can buy you a drink or two as a peace offering for my disinterest during our Ministry meeting. Truth be told, there were other matters on my mind. But I promise I will discuss elf-related matters with you and you do not need to tell me about yourself and Weasley. In fact, if you mention his name at all, I'll curse you.

Regarding your very prejudiced comment about ex Death Eaters… There was nothing in the literature that disallowed D.E.s from entering and enjoying bookshops. In fact, reading is one of my favourite pastimes. And I know others who also read for pleasure! Granger, open your mind! You seem rather biased, though I can't imagine why… (Let us not discuss this part of my past in a serious manner. Without saying too much, I'll admit I'm still deeply embarrassed.)

Please confirm our Friday meeting by post. Six o'clock sounds swell. I need a solid excuse to be out of the house as my wife is attempting to trick me into joining one of her ladies' teas. Help me, Granger.

Cordially,

_Draco Malfoy_


	6. The Hidden Agenda

**A/N:** We decided that in order to have Draco and Hermione reveal their true intentions/thoughts, it would be easier to bring in other characters. So although it is still mostly between Hermione and Draco, you will see various other people pop up. Starting now! Pansy Parkinson's letters in this story will be written by Harmonic Friction. It should be stated that in the hand-written form of her letters, Pansy uses hearts for all her punctuation. -_-;; . . . Read and review!

* * *

October 23, 2008. _(Sent: 4:30 pm)_

_~PP~_

Dearest Draco,

What in the HELL is the matter with you? You never owl, you never go out, you are BORING! BORING! BORING! Look! I KNOW the war was hard on you (Salazar knows WE ALL GET IT!). But marrying that nice, BORING girl and instantly becoming a father is YOUR FAULT! No one else's! So stop the pity party, Draco. You were already becoming boring by the end of fifth year but this is awful.

It's only been three years. You got hitched, got her pregnant, and cheated on her. And that was all in the first year of your marriage! Accept this, Draco: You're still a fucked up prick, and that is why I love you! So PLEASE: divorce the bint, ditch the brat. I want my old friend back. Or at the very least, please let me know you are up to something bad again. Or else, I'm writing you off for good! XOXO!

As for me, I'm still vacationing on the Mediterranean coast. Writing my sex column was becoming too much, so I'm taking time off from the _Weekly Witch_ for a while (and gathering material while I'm at it). It is hot! hot! hot! here. (And so is the weather.) I'm sweet on a few of the wizards I've met. None of them are pale and stuffy like you, so I'd say I'm doing quite well for myself.

I'll be back next week and you'd BETTER meet me for drinks! We need a catch-up date. And DO NOT bring _Aboringa_. I never want to see her sweet, prim little face again as long as I live. (Is she still a cold fish in the bedroom, or have you shagged your tedious wife in the last century?)

Meet me or I shall send her an anonymous owl that you were spotted between the thighs of the beautiful Parkinson heiress! (As though you should be so lucky ever again!)

Mwah! Mwah! Mwah! XOXO,

Pansy

* * *

October 24, 2008._ (Sent: 12:01 am.)_

Pans,

First of all, thank you for sending a discreet owl to my work. I truly appreciate it. Secondly, you are, without a doubt, the biggest bitch I've met in my entire life. I am certain you know that and given your insane thought process, I'm certain you are proud.

While your comments about my family were unnecessarily terrible, I admit I have changed a lot in the past few years. Unlike you, I've done some growing up! (As though I'd _want _to get off with you. That nonsense can stay in the past.)

I'll have you know, and this is a secret (not something to be used in your dreadful column) ... I am actually interested in someone. _Interested_! As in, she has a great personality, she is intelligent, and she is attractive. I want to shag her as well as spend time with her. I want to pick her brain. It helps that she is snarky toward me and does not let me skate by when I am rude. Talking to her is stimulating. Imagine that!

Astoria is still withholding sex from me. She's _tired, _she's _unable to focus, _she always thinks we should _talk _in bed rather than make love. I believe the main reason is that she wants me to change my mind and decide to have more children (she wants five!). Honestly, I'm very close to taking a daily sterility potion and telling her that I want hundreds of children just so I can have a steady sex life.

Not to mention, she is still uncomfortable around the family. Mother likes her enough, but Astoria finds her "too quiet". And she loathes Father. She says I tell him too much, and that it's odd that we are "too close". I know he's a bit much sometimes, but he has come a long way. I absolutely cannot stand how she acts passive with the family and then complains and cries to me in private. I really wish she'd either assert herself or stay home.

You certainly seem to be having a wild time on your vacation from your vacation. And of course I'll be happy to see you for drinks as long as I do not have to hear about some greased up, well-hung dark wizard.

Your friend,

_Draco_

* * *

October 24, 2008. _(Sent: 3:15 pm.)_

_~PP~_

Dearest,

If Aboringa hates Daddy Lucius now, imagine how she would have felt about him while we were in school! He is much, much, much less abrasive. (By the way, send Daddy and Mother all my love and kisses!)

Doesn't Aboringa know that the way to your family's heart is being honest yet charming? They'd see right through anyone's shit. You probably haven't enlightened her on how to act around Daddy as you seem to enjoy having your little club of two. It _is _a bit odd, Draco, but I am glad you get along with Daddy again. Still, your _pooor _wife. Not. Bitch needs to learn how to stand up for herself.

I CANNOT wait to see you. I'll give you so many details about my sex life you'll positively go mad mad mad! Just the way I like you! XOXO

Oooh, Draco! You'd BETTER give me FULL information about this mystery woman next week! Personality? Intelligence? You want to "spend TIME" with her instead of simply doing a shag and drop? My, you HAVE grown up! Who IS this girl? Do I know her?!

Whoever she is, _please please please_ have wild sex with her so we can talk about something besides your stressful, stupid career and your obnoxious family. You need to get shagged! I do not want to deal with grouchy, pathetic, horndragon Draco! SHAG HER!

Love! Love! Love!

Pansy

* * *

October 24, 2008._ (Sent:11:48 pm.)_

Dear Pans,

I'm working on it.

Your friend,

_Draco_


	7. Strictly Business

A/N: Tonight, you get a big chunk of updates. Please review, and also check out our nifty cover image which is us as Draco (HF) and Hermione (Tobiume). Aren't we sexy? Tobiume is writing as Ginny. Happy reading. -HF

* * *

October 23, 2008. _(Sent: 9:21 AM.)_

Hermione,

Are you sure you can't come for dinner Friday? The boys will be visiting Mum and Dad so we'll be able to have a nice meal, where nothing spills or explodes, for a change. Although their "accidents" can be quite funny sometimes. The other day James flung mashed potatoes at Harry and told me, with a completely straight face, that his spoon had jumped. It was all I could do not to laugh.

It's been a while since you've been by, so I hope you'll visit soon. I'm sorry that Mum was, well, in a mood, last time you were here. It's still hard for her to accept that things didn't work out, even though it's been months already. I think she's hoping you'll "come to your senses".

Love,

Ginny

* * *

October, 23, 2008. _(Sent: 11:14 AM)_

Ginny,

I'm sorry, I really can't make it. I'm meeting someone for work. I actually wanted your advice on something… We were supposed to meet for coffee, but he's just sent me a letter saying we should have drinks instead. Coffee is casual, and drinks aren't casual, are they? We can't discuss work over drinks. He promised to actually discuss work this time! Why would he suggest drinks, do you think?

I'd love to come by soon and see you and the boys, and I'll certainly try not to laugh if James flings potatoes at Harry again.

Hermione

P.S. Sometimes it's hard for me to accept that, too.

* * *

October 23, 2008. _(Sent: 1:36 PM)_

Hermione,

Who are you meeting? And if you're not actually at work, don't discuss work. I imagine he has something else in mind if he's taking you for drinks instead of coffee. If you snog him, I want details. You should have some fun. But you had better come over Saturday and tell me about it. If not, the next person getting potatoes in the face will be you. (I'll help James aim.)

Ginny

P.S. Do I know him?

* * *

October 23. 2008._ (Sent: 3:15 PM)_

Ginny,

I imagine you'd recognize him, but I don't think you know him well.

I'll be by Saturday morning, after I take Rose to Ron's.

Hermione

* * *

October 23, 2008. _(Sent: 3:34 PM)_

Malfoy,

I suppose I can help you. Although the thought of you at a ladies' tea _is _quite an entertaining one.

Tomorrow night at six, then.

Hermione Granger

* * *

October 25, 2008. _(Sent: 1:16 PM)_

Ginny,

Obviously I didn't make it today. I'm sure Rose and Ron have been by already. Did Ron notice I was hung-over? He didn't seem to. I drank far more than I intended to and after taking Rose to Ron's flat, I went back home (I didn't even trust myself to apparate without Splinching myself) and got straight into bed. I'm feeling more myself now.

I promised I'd tell you who I met last night. It wasn't quite a date, since he's married, although, according to him, his marriage is one of "convenience." Even disregarding that, though, I still felt awkward having any semblance of a date with _Draco Malfoy. _Did you drop the letter in shock? I don't quite understand it myself.

I had to write to him for work, you know, the new house-elf legislation the Ministry is implementing? We've worked for so long, and finally the laws have improved! Families with house-elves finally have to adhere to regulations, better living conditions, less punishments, and so on. There's been some protest but for the most part things have gone rather smoothly. Anyway, I was dreading his reply, but he wasn't at all how he was at Hogwarts. Obnoxious, full of himself, yes, but not cruel or loathsome.

When we first met, though, I did think he was somewhat pathetic. He came to my office and sent my assistant out for Firewhisky (in the middle of the _day_) and proceeded to become so drunk that his house-elf had to help him home! We exchanged letters after the meeting (at which he constantly changed the topic from house-elves to my personal life) and although he was rude, he was also funny. He's somewhat witty, I'll admit, and it was easy to get caught up in bantering with him. I was surprised when I realized how much I looked forward to his letters. Even if he makes me quite furious, they're still an interesting addition to my usual post. Although I do wish he would stop owling me while I'm working.

Then last night, we met for drinks and he actually tried to talk about his house-elf for all of fifteen minutes. He unrolled a piece of parchment and doodled a little elf and pretended to take notes, but his face was so falsely serious that I couldn't help but laugh. Then he bought me a few drinks, I can't remember how many altogether, and asked me quite a few questions about my past relationships. At first I was quite affronted as really, what business is my personal life of his? But he told me some things about his wife, and I do feel a little sorry for him. An arranged marriage wouldn't be something I would ever consider. I told him a little more than I intended, because he listened so well. (And I'm certain I didn't tell him about _that_. Fairly certain.) He owled this morning to say we should have dinner on Friday to continue our discussion. I am not sure yet how I will respond.

I'm sure you understand why, but you absolutely cannot tell Ron about this, Ginny. He would be furious. So far we've remained on fairly good terms with each other, and I want to keep it that way, since I do care about him vey much. And of course, as I've already said, Malfoy and I are only meeting casually. Strictly for business. But Ron wouldn't even want to know I've been in the same room with Malfoy,

I'll try to stop in tomorrow.

Hermione


	8. Crocodile Tears

October 25, 2008._ (Sent: 10:15 am)_

Dear Hermione (Gah. Look, I know we decided that using last names only is juvenile and stuffy at this point but it truthfully gives me the creeps to write your first name, as nice as it may be) ,

It was very good to actually see you crack a smile last night, though I suspect that was the doing of the three mint juleps and not simply my marvelous sense of humour. My best friend (truth be told, only friend at this point) tells me I am much too forceful with my comedy and perhaps she is correct. Not everyone can detect the well-orchestrated sarcasm; instead, I always get pegged as a right cruel bastard, and I suppose this may still be slightly accurate. Still, I am glad a few of my comments actually made you giggle instead of hollering curses at my face, as per usual. We've come a long way, haven't we, Granger (Hermione)?

I shall not admit defeat but I will say this: You have very astute perceptions about the wizarding world and how magical creatures have been treated thus far. Obviously, I have had a lot of time to rethink a lot of my previous views and I may agree with you more than I let on. You must understand, though, that it is difficult to completely re-work one's brain when one has been raised in a very strict household to buy into a very specific belief system. And my parents have come a long way, too. For instance, Father can shake a Muggle-born's hand without first strapping on three pairs of mittens.

Now that I know a bit more, I have to say that Weasley will not find another witch like you. He should just sod on off to Antarctica and live in a shack. Either that or he can live with his dear mother forever if she is the prize example of what a woman should be.

I did also enjoy seeing you with your hair free of that very business-like bun. Maybe it reminded me of simpler times, though I think your head looks a bit tamer these days. Either way, you looked quite fetching, Granger—Hermione (see, this is going to take practise).

I'm wondering if I acted respectful enough to convince you to perhaps dine with me next Friday. Let me know.

Cordially,

_Draco Malfoy_

PS: Thank you for listening to my very dreary life story. I have not told many people as it is upsetting. It just hurts that Astoria become intimate with another wizard (and in the first year of our marriage to boot). I suppose now that she and I have reconciled, we have a much better arrangement. The union was for show anyway, but I still just cannot believe she would cheat. Still, we are now both free to do as we please which suits me fine. It does get rather lonely, though.

* * *

October 26, 2008. _(Sent: 2:45 pm.)_

_~PP~_

Dearest Draco,

Please please PLEASE tell me you will be free tomorrow night, and that you have LOADS of delicious details about the new object of your desires. I simply can't wait to see your handsome face! It's been FAAR too long, don't you think? We should meet at the new club in Knockturn Alley. I have heard it is the _right _brand of seedy.

MWAH! MWAH! MWAH! XOXO,

Pansy

* * *

October 27, 2008. _(Sent: 11:15 am.)_

Pans,

Astoria is still quite upset about your treatment of her this past summer. She was quite unimpressed when you regaled her with detailed verbal romps through our past- did you really have to bring our virginity story up during brunch? It was even too much for _me _to recall. For this reason, if anyone asks, I was not with you. I was at an impromptu meeting with one of my patients. Understand? Until you can make nice with Astoria or learn how to behave, I cannot let her know that I am still in communication with you.

Is ten in the PM suitable? I figure the darker it is, the easier it will be to be out in public with you.

Your friend,

_Draco_

* * *

October 27, 2008. _(Sent: 1:46 pm.)_

_~PP~_

Dearest Draco,

You're a berk and I'm going to smack you straight in your mouth. See you then!

LOVE LOVE LOVE,

Pansy

* * *

October 29, 2008. _(Sent: 3:51.)_

_~PP~_

Dearest Draco,

I think seven shots of firewhisky in three hours is past your limit, my dear. You were acting mad! mad! mad! Did you _actually_ say your mystery girl is a Mudblood? Did you_ actually_ tell me that the politically correct term is now "Muggle-born"? Did you _actually_ vomit in my best handbag? By the way, I charmed it as best as I could but it still reeks of alcohol and cocky bastards, so you can buy me a new one ASAP. And you're welcome. I really _needed_ all that muscle I built dragging you out of the bar. I hope you were hungover all day with the worst-ever headache and that your drip of a wife ignored your whining. You stupid prat!

All this being said, I was QUITE impressed that you stayed out past eleven, and that you only brought up the bint and the brat once. Mudblood or not, I'm happy you have SOMETHING to fixate on that isn't completely boring! And I must say, this is a VERY interesting look for you. Ex- D.E. from prominent Pureblood family hopes to cheat on perfect, dutiful wife with an unsuspecting Mudblood.

The bit about you convincing the Mudblood that Astoria was the cheater was simply TOO TOO TOO much, Draco, darling. You nasty thing, you! I hope you work up some of your infamous crocodile tears next time you tell your Mudblood about how _saaad _you are that your beloved wife _cheated _on you and left you _miserable _and how you _fear for your son's wellbeing. _Ha ha ha! Has she confirmed your date yet?

As disturbed as I am regarding your choice in women, I'm quite happy that my wicked partner-in-crime seems to have returned from Tedious Town.

Looking VERY VERY VERY forward to the next juicy tidbit!

XOXO

Pansy

* * *

October 29, 2008._ (Sent: 7:45 pm.)_

Pans,

I honestly don't remember telling you any of that. I didn't say anything else, did I? I'd appreciate you keeping your fat mouth shut. As for the handbag, it was ugly anyway. I shall buy you a better one.

I was serious about your language usage. Mother and Father are very particular these days about our image. It doesn't look good for me to be hanging around anyone who spouts off bloodist insults in public or in print, no matter what your political opinions are these days. Not to mention you sound uneducated and as if you live in the dark ages with sodding Merlin. Use the word "Muggle-born" or you'll get no details whatsoever.

Further, I shall never visit with you again if you show me another photograph of your trip. I do not wish to see any more pictures you in a bikini that is three sizes too small with a grinning buffoon on your arm! Jokes aside, it was very good catching up and being able to be myself. I have not yet heard back from her but I'm hoping the very sob-inducing back story I have prepared will begin to endear me to her.

Your (forever wicked) friend,

_Draco_


	9. Someone Objectionable

A/N: Tobiume here! We're introducing more characters as the plot thickens. Hooray for complications! Thanks for the favorites and follows and reviews! Please continue to read and review! (We THRIVE on reviews. :D)  
HF is writing as Ron, and I am writing as Harry.

* * *

October 26, 2008. _(Sent: 4:01 am)_

Hermione,

I'm writing you a letter because Harry said it would give me more time to think about what I need to say. Apparently he thinks I am too honest. Not sure where he got that idea! Obviously, I don't like writing letters so I'm going to act like I'm just talking to you which will go against the entire point BUT! At least I'm trying. Sorry about the handwriting.

I know that I see you every weekend, and that I usually act like nothing is wrong, but the fact is I really quite miss you. I even miss you telling me off, which just goes to show you that I am a barmey sap who is still head over heels in love with you, and look—I KNOW I drive you completely mad half the time and that we have genuine ISSUES we need to work out (you're not the only one who says this, I've caught it from everyone). I'm willing to work on them, if it means seeing you. We don't have to get back together but I'd like to talk to you. Besides, Mum won't stop crying, so will you please give me another chance? I'm wasting all my money buying hankies to dry her tears!

I know you know I love you, Hermione, but I'll write it here because I know I'm crap at this kind of thing: I love you.

I LOVE YOU! And I miss you. And even if you don't take me back, you deserve to know that the best part of my week is when you drop off Rosie and pick her up. I mean, I love having Rosie but when you show up I almost feel like things are normal.

Okay, this is sounding stupid at this point. So, goodbye!

-Ron

* * *

October 26, 2008. _(__Sent: 11:20 am)_

Dear Ron,

I don't know if I'm quite ready to talk about this yet, but I hope you know that I do still love you, and I do like to see you on the weekends, too. I'm not sure if our issues are something that can be worked on, or if we're just not entirely compatible with each other. Perhaps we could take Rose to the Muggle zoo near my parents' house next weekend. She'd enjoy it, I think. You might, too.

I'll see you this afternoon. Please have Rose ready right at 4:00, as we're meeting my parents for supper.

Hermione

P.S. Next time you write me, please wait to send the letter until a reasonable hour. Pigwidgeon scratching madly at the window is NOT the way I want to wake up.

* * *

October 26, 2008. _(Sent: 4:32 pm)_

Hermione,

YOU MUST BE CRAZY. Sorry, I'm only joking. Although Malfoy was an awful prat when we were in school, it has been a long time, and I'm sure having a family has matured him somewhat. He had an arranged marriage? I've heard of some of the older wizarding families still arrange marriages for their children, but you wouldn't catch me agreeing to that. Good thing I'm already married! (Ha, ha.)

I think you should see him again, if you enjoy his company. Are he and his wife separating? It's funny that you're in similar situations. It's probably good for you to have someone to talk to who understands. Just be careful. He _is _a Slytherin, and they're sneaky.

I won't tell Ron. I may have said something to Harry about you seeing someone, but I didn't tell him who. Although maybe I should, if you're telling Malfoy secrets. (Just kidding. But really, Hermione, you always do blurt out things when you've had too much to drink. Remember last Christmas when you confessed to Ron that you _did_ go visit Krum in Bulgaria before coming to the Burrow before sixth year? Oh, that was a row.)

I know you're busy, but we really do have to catch up. Ron brings Rose by on the weekends, but I want to see you, too. And no, I don't think Ron noticed. I would have heard about it if he had. I can hear him now. "Ginny, Hermione was _hungover. _Do you think she went out with a bloke? Who do you think it was? Do you think she's dating someone?"

Ginny

* * *

October 26, 2008 _(Sent: 6:00 pm)_

Ginny,

He's still somewhat of a prat. But he's not at all how he used to be. I've just had a letter from him. He said he was lonely, _complimented my hair,_ and asked me to dinner on Friday. I'm not sure how to respond yet. I have to admit that he's rather good-looking, and he does make me laugh (although sometimes I feel bad afterwards—he said Ron should sod off to Antarctica, and although Ron and I have had our differences, he's still _Ron. _I couldn't help laughing, though).

But I don't know how I feel about seeing him again. I've had a letter from Ron this morning, too, and although I can't say right now that I want us back together, as he seems to want, I'm still not sure I'm completely ready to move on.

Ron's overreactions are a perfect example of why we aren't together anymore! Why should it matter whether I went to see Viktor or not? That was over a decade ago! He was seeing Lavender Brown sixth year, anyway, and I'm sure he didn't tell me all the details of their relationship.

Yes, I've gotten Harry's note, too. Did you see it? I'm sure you had a good laugh. Please, don't say anything more to him!

Hermione

* * *

October 26, 2008. _(Sent: 4:32 pm)_

Hermione,

Ginny says you went on a date with someone objectionable. Should I be worried about you?

I'm only joking. I trust your judgment. I admit it was a blow when you and Ron separated, and I'm still hoping you'll work things out. But in the meantime, just don't date Malfoy, and I won't worry about you. (Not that you'd ever date Malfoy. I think he's married, anyway.)

Harry

* * *

October 26, 2008._ (Sent: 6:00 pm)_

Harry,

Did you tell Ron to write me a letter? His letter was very sweet, so I should thank you, although it made me nearly cry. I don't know what will happen, but of course I still love Ron. It's just that it was too much of a struggle to get along with him every day. He says you told him he's too honest. If he listens to you, you should tell him that women don't like to hear constantly that their husband's mother is a better cook than they are, especially when they've been busy working on cases all day. And the pie in question was only _slightly _overcooked.

I don't know that I'd call it "seeing," exactly. There's nothing for you to worry about!

Hermione

* * *

October 26, 2008. _(Sent: 6:15 pm)_

Hello Hermione,

Should I still refer to you as "Granger"? Was it too soon to print your first name? Is that why you've taken longer than usual to reply to my last letter? I'm assuming that is the case, unless there were some particularly oppressed house-elves you've had to valiantly rescue.

In reality, I probably should have waited longer to disclose details about my private life. I regret I may have shared too much with you, and I ask you to forgive my candor. It's just that I have not met someone I can talk openly to in such a long time. Even if you wish to never see me again, I really appreciate you listening to me despite how much of a prick I was toward you and your friends back in school.

In hopes you change your mind, I'm still keeping Friday open for you.

Cordially,

_Draco Malfoy_

* * *

October 26, 2008 _(Sent: 7:00 pm)_

Draco (that does seem odd),

Since it seems that all I've done today is write letters, I might as well reply to yours. I admit that I was surprised by the changes in you. It isn't that you shared too much (I worry that I might have said too much, as well); it's just that I was just trying to determine how I felt about seeing you again. But I can't think of any reason why I shouldn't, so I suppose this Friday will be fine. It's funny that we seem to be in somewhat similar situations, and it _was _nice to talk to someone who understands.

I suppose we might as well dispense with surnames. But really, saying my name is nice? You _have _changed.

Hermione

P.S. There are always oppressed house-elves that need rescuing. I'll expect at least another five minutes of your time to discuss this matter at our next meeting.


	10. Darian, the Dastardly Pureblood

October 26, 2008 _(Sent: 4:32 am)_

Hey Harry,

I'm writing to you now because I sent Hermione the letter you told me to write. I KNOW you said you wanted to check it over to make sure it looked okay, but I couldn't wait to send it, and she'll probably be sore at me because it's four in the morning and I know that Pig likely woke her up and actually he'll probably wake you up, too but I know you'll forgive me sooner so I don't care as much. I think I did an okay job trying to showcase my "emotional side" as Ginny puts it, but then again I probably made a right fool of myself so you can all laugh about me later.

I've a confession I need to make to you: I've subscribed to _Witch Weekly. _Before you start making jabs at me, I want you to read this article I've clipped and put into this letter (yes, I know—clipping articles, I'm turning into my mum…another four weeks and I'll actually become a witch). I've told you about the column before. It's been in print for several years, though the writer took a break for a bit. But when I first confessed I read it, you were so bent on cracking up laughing over my talking that I doubt you heard a word I said. So now I'm writing so you can't interrupt me! (Getting smarter in my old age, aren't I?!)

The column's called "Dear Daisy" and it's a sex advice column mostly for witches, which means I've learned some really interesting things throughout the years. Daisy's a bit of a cow but you get used to it, and she seems to know her stuff. Aside from giving wizards helpful advice and tips on ladies, she prints this feature column every so often and that's why I subscribe. It's about the cock ups of this really ridiculous sounding bloke. I first read the column while waiting in Hermione's office a few years ago and her assistant had it opened. I pretended I was only doing it to drown out her assistant's annoying voice but Harry, you have to believe me—it's ADDICTIVE! At first I liked it because "Darian" comes off totally stupid but then I realized, hey, this is someone whose choices are worse than mine so I started feeling kind of sorry for the bloke. Not to mention he sounds like he'd be kind of cool to hang around. Aside from doing stuff like cheating on his wife, he actually gets up to some funny mischief.

Think what you want, but "Dear Daisy" is getting me through the hard times, so as my friend you should support me!

(Yes, I know I'm ridiculous and may actually be breaking down mentally)

-Ron

* * *

Welcome, Readers! BIIG sloppy kisses and hugs to all of you! I know you're all about as excited as I am that I'm back, and with nonstop juicy material to boot! I know you've ALL missed Darian—and truth be told, I missed him, too, despite him being a cocky little weasel! I was partially afraid he'd finally fallen victim to his own dreadfully boring married life but after meeting for drinks with him this past weekend, my suspicions are confirmed: He is still a crafty bastard. So, ladies: Watch out! And Gentlemen: Listen closely, because if there's one thing Darian's great at, it's covering his tracks!

If you're joining me for the first time, I'd like to introduce you briefly to my oldest chum—let's call him "Darian." We were raised similarly, and we were each other's first playmates, first loves, and first shags. As much as he drives me MAD MAD MAD, there will always be a special place for Darian in my heart. I thought that, like me, Darian would lead a life to make any common person jealous but he tried to wise up three years ago and married a nice socialite. Long story short, he's had his share of misadventures, beginning with cheating on her drunkenly in the first ten months of their marriage. Darian and I have little time for remorse but he tried to play nice again. He's had his share of temptations over the years, but he's been painfully dull… UNTIL RECENTLY.

I am happy to inform all my readers that I will be publishing weekly features on "Darian the Dastardly Pureblood" because he is, thankfully, up to his old tricks! He's actually interested in a woman this time—interested in her for more than a five -minute shag session! They've actually met for drinks, and, get this: he told her his WIFE was the cheater! As usual, I am awed by his level of bastarddom and I'd like to think I had something to do with it. So far, the girl seems convinced. This is a mere TIDBIT. Stay tuned for more misadventures of Darian, the Dastardly Pureblood! He's NOT SINGLE but he's READY TO MINGLE!

MWAH MWAH MWAH!

-_Daisy_


	11. Very Busy

A/N: Not too many more characters, we promise. HF is writing as both Astoria and Lucius Malfoy. These various letters are helping to set up the plot~ more Draco and Hermione goodness is just around the corner. We hope you are enjoying the letters. **Please **review. And thanks to those who have!

* * *

October 30th, 2008._ (Sent: 8:15 am)_

My dear Draco,

You have been keeping the worst possible hours lately. I am so very sorry they have you working from morning until night. It seems I have not spoken to you properly in days, let alone gotten to spend any time with you whatsoever. Is it within legal rights for them to keep you from six in the morning until the evening? I want to discuss this more with you when I see you, but given our luck, that may not be for another five months! This past week you've been in around two in the morning nearly every day. You know, you can invite me out if there is a work function. I would very much like to socialize with your coworkers. You punish me for the teas I have you moonlight at. I'm not complaining. I just miss you, despite your very dramatic demeanor. Which is (usually) endearing anyway.

For this reason, I am writing to ask if I may visit you on your lunch hour today. Scorpius is ever so excited. As soon as I mentioned I would bring him for lunch with you, he wouldn't stop screaming "Daddy, yay!" (far better than "No!" and "No, thank you!", which I'm ever so tired of hearing, aren't you?).

We shall meet you at your office around eleven o'clock.

I cannot wait to see your handsome face in the daylight!

With love,

_Astoria_

* * *

October 20, 2008. _(Sent: 9:08)_

Astoria,

What did I tell you about disturbing me at work? I am not free to receive owls every five seconds. I am very busy. And no, I was planning to work through my lunch today. Can we plan another time? Tell Scorpius to practise a few other phrases in the meantime.

You may certainly join in on a company outing. I shall let you know the next time spouses are invited.

So glad you find my "dramatics" endearing. That isn't belittling at all.

I shall see you this evening, as I have no work dinners to attend tonight.

Yours,

_Draco_

* * *

October 30, 2008._ (Sent: 10:05)_

Draco,

Sometimes I still lose myself in your sarcasm. Your sense of humor is, as ever, very unique! We are nearly on our way. Looking forward to seeing you!

Love,

_Astoria_

* * *

October 30, 2008_. (Sent: 10:45)_

Pans,

You'd better get this note. Astoria is coming by with Scorpius. Cannot meet for lunch.

Show up here and I'll feign innocence, say you're pestering me and that I wish we'd never met. (Partly true. Guess which part!)

Will meet you later this weekend.

Apologies,

_Draco_


	12. Father Knows Best

A/N: The reviews we've been getting have been making us laugh and very excited to post more. Keep it up! You are all awesome. Enjoy, from Mr. Friction

* * *

October 31, 2008._ (Sent: 3:52 pm)_

Hello Draco,

Happy Hallow's Eve. How are you doing? Are you getting by in a suitable fashion? Your mother is worried about you, and I suppose I have begun to have my doubts about your wellbeing. You know that you can always constrict your availability at Saint Mungo's—I _know _they have come to depend upon you but if you work yourself to insanity you may just end up a patient. Please do not emulate your Black genetics.

You did not need to become a Healer, though it worked out conveniently for the family that you took an interest in the profession. Social standing or not, your health is much more important. I would have spoken to you sooner but at first it seemed you enjoyed your career. Now I am wondering if it is only an escape from whatever goes on at home with Astoria and Scorpius.

Please pass on my greeting to Astoria and also inform her that I will not be referred to as Grandfather, Granddad or Grandpa Lucius until I am at least eighty five years of age. Surely she will understand and will drill this into Scorpius straight away. You can also inform her that she looked a lot more attractive when she was several pounds heavier, and dark blue simply is not her colour. Your mother agrees with me, but she wouldn't dare say.

How is Scorpius, anyway? Is he speaking full sentences yet, or is it still unintelligible cries and screeching noises? If he is still behind in speech, you may want to seek out a specialist. Either that, or let Astoria know that she is lacking in parenting skills. Perhaps a nursemaid would be more suitable?

You have not come around in several months. I think it is due time that you and I met for dinner. Your mother is also dying to see you. Would it kill you to send her an owl every once in awhile? You know how she gets, Draco.

More to the point, is something the matter? Your mother is concerned that you have been drinking too much, but I told her she should not worry. _Should _she worry? Honestly, Draco, of all the habits you could pick up. If have decided to become an alcoholic, please do it secretly. This family has encountered enough public shame in the last ten years. If you need to get help, do it quickly and discreetly. You may ask for any amount of money you require. You can give me as many details as you want, or not.

How is the estate in Herefordshire treating you? Still nicely, I presume? Has the gnome problem come to a halt? Apparently there are now fines for killing them. This world has gone mad, if you ask me (but no one seems to, anymore). I also received post from the Ministry that it is due time for the house-elves to attend a "meeting regarding their rights". Obviously, I threw the letter in the fireplace straight away. There are some things I simply will not tolerate.

All my love,

_Father _

* * *

November 1, 2008. _(Sent: 2:01 pm)_

Hello Father,

Please tell Mother I'm sorry I have not come around. I have been rather busy, but I'm planning to stop in for a visit within the month. How is everything with you? Did you attend that charity event for Muggle-Born Advocacy? If so, tell me how they received you. Is the booing and hissing getting quieter? Have they resorted to throwing spoiled vegetation rather than hurling curses? I'm wondering how many blasted Galleons it will take to get everyone off our backs.

The last time I passed on your suggestions to Astoria, it did not go over very well. If you want something said, you can certainly say it yourself (though truth be told, I do agree with you regarding her weight loss). Scorpius has been talking more frequently these recent weeks. His favorite thing to say is, "No, thank you." From seven to nine pm, he runs from me as I try to put him to bed saying very courteously, "No, thank you!", "No, thank you!". I suppose I should be happy he has manners.

Don't worry. I am not an alcoholic. I'm merely bored and restless. On that note, Pansy says hello to you and Mother. And before you ask again, _no_, I'm not going to shirk my family duties and run off with Pansy to live in the wilds. I can't tolerate her long enough for all that. Besides, if I do decide to run off you will know because I would have to consult with you to help me set up a hidden bank account. (Kidding, of course.)

In confidence: Was there ever a time when you doubted your relationship with Mother? From what I have witnessed, even when you were going through problems, you two seemed to be very supportive of each other (even perhaps when you shouldn't have been—don't get sensitive, you know it's true). Astoria is not exactly unsupportive but I feel she does not understand me much and that my life has become a blank, boring spiral. Your thoughts?

Your son,

_Draco_


	13. Prince Charming

October 31, 2008._ (Sent: 9:52 am)_

* * *

Hello, Hermione (still odd, but perhaps if I pen your name a thousand times, it will seem more natural) -

I am extremely sorry that I have not gotten back to you until now. It has been a ridiculously busy week during which I've had no more than two seconds alone. I had to present a lecture to the hospital board yesterday after my lunch, which would have been stressful enough, but Astoria blindsided me by coming by with Scorpius. I had been looking forward to meeting with a friend to have a bit of leisure time but Astoria completely foiled that attempt to regain some of my missing sanity. It would be one thing if she was coming by to spend time with me or support me, but she was far more interested in accusing me of spending too much time at St. Mungo's! Not to mention attempting to make me feel guilty for being unable to see Scorpius very much this week. Scorpius did not seem to mind. He was too busy knocking potions off my workspace. If Astoria wants to be unfaithful and be involved with other wizards, that is one thing. But to assume I should be in two places at once by BOTH supporting our "family" and being at home... That is ridiculous. We are separated but she acts like I still owe her something.

I tell you, Granger (..Hermione), I am looking very forward to having adult time tonight. I am requesting we meet at The Craft. It's this new bar and restaurant next to Madame Malkin's. It's less tired than most of the other eateries. Does six in the evening work for you? I shall reserve a table upon hearing your response.

Cordially,

_Draco Malfoy_

* * *

October 31, 2008._ (Sent: 1:30 pm)_

_~PP~_

Dearest Draco,

I have half a mind to start sending my owls to your home, you piece of shit. You have cancelled on me twice in the past week. No one cancels on me! You'd better be free tonight!

Glaring daggers (but also blowing kisses!),

Pansy

* * *

October 31, 2008._ (Sent: 3:42)_

Pans,

Please stop overreacting. Unlike you, I have an actual career and responsibilities. I'm sorry if me cancelling conflicted with your very busy life of writing half-arsed sex advice (so I'm told- I haven't read that rubbish column once- you've told me quite enough about it, thank you very much), getting foot massages, eating bon-bons and sleeping with half the wizarding community.

To answer your question, I am most certainly not available tonight. I have just received confirmation that my friend will be dining with me tonight. Is friend an appropriate term? I am sure you have some hideously crude alternative. I know you are going to ask, so to answer you, I am not confident it is a date but I am going to pick up the bill and lay on my charm thick- you know, how I used to act before I got "boring boring boring" as you've so kindly told me (you cow, cow, cow!)?

I'll be pulling out all the tricks: listening carefully to anything she might say and responding sympathetically, regaling her with funny stories, being at my wittiest, and of course, doing the very suave act of walking her out and (given that she's won over enough by then… not that it will be hard, she is an overworked single mother who never gets out) asking very casually if I might be able to give her a kiss goodnight.

I've been struggling for over eight months now, Pansy, and now I may get shagged before the new year. I hope you can understand how important that is.

Your friend,

_Draco_

* * *

October 31, 2008_. (Sent: 5:50 pm.)_

_~PP~_

Dearest Draco,

OOOOOH~ I am very, very, VERY ecstatic to hear about your night! I'll expect a play-by-play this weekend.

Ah, the _charming _Draco- the one who eye-fucked me in study hall and took me so very gallantly by the arm at the Yule Ball and then was there for me when my owl died and used that situation to further gain my adoration and then pretended to be all gentlemanly so that he could get in my knickers? ...I remember him well. And ADORE him ever so much. **THANK. SALAZAR. **Mudblood or not, this bitch is lucky. Are you going to do the infamous silky whisper in her ear? The hand on her thigh? The well-placed wink after you make an especially funny comment? You'd better request she bring an extra set of robes. This "overworked single mother" is going to wet herself instantly. WINK WINK. XOXO.

It's nice to have my sexy bastard of a bestie back. I'm no longer humiliated to be seen with you.

Oh, and give Aboringa my _absolute _best.

MWAHHHH.

Pansy

* * *

_October 31, 2008- _The Weekly Witch- _Dear Daisy _column

_Dear Daisy, _

_I've been a loyal follower for the past three years. I just adore your very frank way of handling martial and sex issues and I'm now wondering if you could perhaps help me out. You see, I'm suspicious that my husband of a year is perhaps cheating on me. I've been reading your feature column, _Darian the Dastardly Pureblood,_ obsessively, trying to see if there are any connections between Darian's behavior and my own husband's. My husband (let's call him Rex) is constantly "too busy" to go on date nights with me now. This includes Quidditch matches, for which we used to be season ticket holders. We have not slept together in weeks because he is "too tired". I'm wondering if you have some advice for me. How can I confront Rex about my thoughts? I love him very much and I don't want to throw in the cloak, so to speak. Please help! _

_Also, I hope you do not take this the wrong way but I feel you are entirely too harsh on Darian's wife. Beyond your description of her being boring, is it really a crime to be "too nice"? Do you really think the fact that she's unsuspecting warrants you the right to call her "empty-headed"? No offense. I love your column. _

_Help me, Daisy!,_

_Worried Witch in Wales_

* * *

Dearest WWinW,

First off, thank you EVER so much for your readership. I very much appreciate your dedication over the years. Kisses to you, darling!

Now, regarding your little problem, I must say if I were your hubby I'd be shagging any other bint I could if it meant being free from your watchful, obnoxious eye. It's wives like you that bring these problems upon themselves. He's too tired to shag and too busy for Quidditch? Are you a complete and total ignoramous? Call him on it, WWinW, or else sit in silence like the daft bint you obviously are! I don't appreciate you critiquing my column, WWinW, especially since it seems you have some odd want to compare yourself to Darian's tedious, wet noodle of a wife. If that is how you wish to present yourself to the world, you may as well have it charmed to your forehead: "I AM A PUSHOVER! USE ME!" If you were in front of me, WWinW, I'd smack you right across your silly face. Now take my advice: Go give your arsehole of a husband what for, and be sure you get MORE than half when it's all over. Get off your bottom and DO SOMETHING, WWinW.

MWAH MWAH,

Daisy

* * *

A/N: There's been confusion over the letter to "Daisy". It's not Astoria herself. I'm going to show "Daisy"'s column through snippets of her "advice" (lol) to people. If (when...) characters in the fic begin to write her, you will know because other letters will make it obvious. But this one was a red herring. - HF


	14. A Lovely Evening

November 1, 2008 _(Sent 3:14 pm)_

Draco (Yes, it still needs some getting used to),

I'd like to thank you for a lovely evening. I would have written sooner, but I've been trying to sort out my thoughts after last night. Although we've met several times already in the past few weeks, it's still difficult for me to equate you now with the prejudiced prat who was so awful to me at Hogwarts. I know we agreed we'd stop bringing up the past, and so I won't anymore, but you'll understand why your courteous, even gentlemanly, behavior took me so by surprise. Especially since, the last few times we've met, we've spent most of our time disagreeing.

Your attentions, while not unappreciated, were somewhat unlike your usual self. You were so busy complimenting my hair, my dress, my smile, and trying to outdo yourself with funny stories that you forgot to disagree with me. I know when I'm being charmed, and I must tell you that your normal behavior is more…interesting.

You were a very thoughtful listener, but next time we meet, you'll have to tell me more about your own situation. I believe you mentioned that your wife seems to want to have your attention at home, although she's seeing another man? It seems unfair to you that she wants to have it both ways. I do hope that you'll be able to spend more time with Scorpius soon. This age is very important in their lives, and they need the attention of both parents. Ron and I agreed that no matter our differences, we'd spend as much time as we could together with Rose.

At first I didn't know why you felt the need to whisper in my ear how delicious your meal was. I feel you could have said that at a normal volume quite easily. But then you put your hand on my thigh and made your intentions quite clear. I'm not certain what to think about that yet, but I'd like to discuss it the next time we meet.

It was very sweet of you to ask me politely for a kiss. But I'd prefer if, in the future, you simply kissed me instead of asking. As you were frank with me about certain aspects of your life, I'll be completely honest with you: I've had quite enough of polite, awkward fumbling. If I don't want you to kiss me, I won't let you. You needn't ask my permission. It's somewhat less exciting when you broadcast your intentions so clearly, although I'm sure you were just trying to be gentlemanly.

That being said, it _was _rather a nice kiss. If I seemed overeager, well, it's been quite some time since I've been kissed like that. I can't say I'd ever thought I'd enjoy a kiss from a Malfoy – but I'll stop thinking of you as a Malfoy, and just as Draco, instead. Foremost in my thoughts this morning is that kiss (although I almost feel as if I've conceded something by admitting that to you), and I would like to see you again, and perhaps kiss you again, sometime soon.

Hermione Granger

* * *

November 2, 2008 (8:03 pm)

Dear Hermione,

It was good to see you yesterday. I'm sorry we didn't have much time to talk. I don't know what's gotten into James lately, but he seems to think it's the height of hilarity to put disgusting things in the shoes of everyone who visits. We've all gotten used to it, but I'm glad you weren't too put off, and I'm sorry we had to spend most of your visit charming your shoes clean. And of course, it's just like James to drag Rose through the mud with him... But at least it was Ron who had to take her home and gave her a bath.

I'm still trying to wrap my head around what you said! Malfoy _put his hand on your thigh_? And asked your permission to kiss you goodnight? Are you sure it was actually Malfoy, not someone else taking Polyjuice Potion? I suppose I can understand your reservations somewhat, but I think that if you enjoy spending time with him, you should see him again. I suppose I should be more loyal to my brother, but since he is my brother, I know better than anyone how much of a prat he can be. Don't worry about how you feel about him right now. Go on a few dates. Have fun. Your feelings will sort themselves out. It worked for me.

Harry's getting nosy, by the way, and I don't know if I can fend him off much longer. You should tell him about Malfoy. I don't think he'll mind nearly as much as you think he will. (Well, he might. But you should still tell him.)

I really appreciate your offer to make dinner next week, but I think you'd better leave it to me. Maybe I can show you how to make a pudding. Those aren't too difficult, but of course, you can't get lost in your book and forget to watch the time. I don't think my oven could handle that again (I'm only joking)!

Love,

Ginny


	15. Mister Bad Man

A/N: Thanks so much for the reviews and the adds. Ze plot thickens. -HF

* * *

November 2, 2008. (_Sent 2:39 pm_)

Dear Daphne,

Thank you so very much for the new cloak. I received it right on my birthday, which made everything much nicer although I still missed you greatly. Are you well? Please give my best to Theodore and the children.

I regret to inform you I am writing for a bit of advice, and again, I am sorry to trouble you. I'd much rather be writing you happy news but the truth is I cannot help but feel a bit worried. I know that you have urged me to be cautious about Draco, and I know you have been very protective of me. But I want you to try and be open-minded because as usual, I may be acting entirely too sensitive. I believed that matters were improving greatly, but Draco seems so utterly engrossed in his work at St. Mungo's that I often do not get to have a real conversation with him for days. At first, he was excited about the prospect of us having children, but suddenly he claims he "never really wanted any" and he actually seems angry with me when I suggest having more.

I recall years ago you mentioned that back in school, you observed he never really seemed to know what he wants. That he would flip-flop, and confuse his friends. I'm seeing signs of that again. Honestly, it baffles me because he was so wholly charming and communicative during the courtship, and the first year of our union. I know that part of the attraction was that our family had absolutely nothing to do with the Dark Lord, but Draco made it seem like it was completely his choice to woo me. I know I've told you this a thousand times, but the only other people who know Draco more than you are his parents and Pansy Parkinson. And I certainly cannot confide in any of that lot.

On that subject, I feel pathetic but I just cannot take another harsh critique from Lucius. He seems on the ready with "advice" and criticisms for me, from his opinion on my looks, to how our home is decorated, to how he thinks Scorpius is possibly delayed (as you know, Scorpius is shy and has been slow to start talking). To make matters worse, when I let Draco know how hurt I am, Draco's only comment is "That's just Father". Or worse, he shuts down and becomes angry with me for "insulting" his family. Narcissa is pleasant enough but I've hardly heard her utter two words the entire time I've known her. She speaks to Draco in a whisper and passes along information for me instead of conversing with me directly. I know that I did not marry into the warmest, most hands-on family but it is sometimes so cold and awkward visiting Lucius and Narcissa that I have to physically remove myself from the room.

And of course you know that try as I might, I just cannot fathom Draco's relationship with Pansy. I find it completely inappropriate. They're grown adults, but together they act just as they did while at Hogwarts—even when Draco has changed so much! It's like he reverts to his old self when he is around her. Not to mention, she's cruel to me and seems to hate me despite how many time I have attempted to treat her cordially. The last time she visited, I had her for brunch and she spent the afternoon talking about her sexual escapades with Draco- I knew they'd been a romantic item but apparently they began getting intimate in year five which is simply appalling (they were children!). I nearly cried but I held it together. When I questioned Draco about it later, he was hardly concerned and instead told me to "forget it", that his past "does not matter". Then he said he'd rather not discuss it. Daphne, I know that you probably find me foolish but I'm trying really hard to be an understanding wife but...

It pushed me over the edge when, at Draco's urging, Pansy came over _again _and decided to give me a _play-by-play_ account of how they (I can hardly bear to write this) _lost their virginity _to each other. I will not give you the details but it was a terrible afternoon. After that, I snapped and told Draco I was banning her from our home and that I'd very much like it if he stopped seeing her alone. Doesn't that sound reasonable? He didn't think so. It put him in a snit for days, and what confused me most was his argument was that he doesn't even like her that much! As though _disliking _her was somehow an excuse to see her in private. I don't trust Pansy. I think she's very bad news but I need not convince you.

There is also the matter of our own intimacy (I'm sorry again to inform you of this, but there is simply no one else to confide in). When Draco is home in the evenings, he constantly initiates sex but he won't seriously discuss whether or not he wants more children—he just shuts down and becomes moody. I enjoy being intimate with him, but he's far more experienced than I am and seems impatient with the fact that I don't always feel at ease doing what he wants. It's hard to write this, but some time ago he actually commented he was "bored" with me, that talking was "a waste of time". He was angry and stressed at the time, but it deeply hurt me. I'm doing all I can for him but he seems unwilling to speak honestly to me. Not to mention, hearing Pansy go on and on about all their exploits made me feel like a daft idiot who knows nothing and now when he wants to make love with me I'm constantly wondering if he wishes he was back with her—is that why he clings to their past? When he wants to make love, it's like he's not even my husband. It's like he is some sort of ravenous being who has some sort of sordid sexual appetite. He's told me he prefers having "rough sex"(!). But he never mentioned this until a year ago! He acted normal in the beginning. I was living out my dream and now I'm completely confused and, sometimes, frightened. Please do not repeat this. I do not wish to embarrass him.

I love you and miss you.

Hope to see you very soon,

_Astoria Malfoy_

* * *

November 3, 2008. (_Sent 10:50 pm) _

Hello Hermione,

My, don't old world values count for anything today? It seems you may have taken my attempted respectability for weakness—or worse, cheesiness. I must say, that was not exactly the response I was expecting but I think that is why you intrigue me so very much. If you want me to speak with candor and blunt honesty instead, then I shall.

I have had quite a time trying to keep you off my mind since kissing you last Friday night. I thought about it while heading back to my estate. I thought about while I should have been sleeping. I thought about it all day today at work, and it nearly made me ache to think that you are located in an office not so far from my own job and that if I was not so swamped with work I could apparate over to the Ministry any second and whisk you into my arms again.

Truth be told, I have not passionately kissed anyone for a great while. Even when Astoria and I were on better terms, her prim ways did not allow for such illicit activities. I have been in a very businesslike arrangement for far too long, Granger. When I kissed you, I felt I could have continued kissing you forever. If I had it my way, I would have. But then again, I was attempting to be respectful and to gather where our boundary lies. I certainly will not stand being compared with Weasley and his "awkward fumblings". That is most definitely not my approach which you will, hopefully, come to discover.

I am happy to hear you at least found my kissing to be agreeable, even if you find me to be the opposite. Of course I already had a hunch I was doing something correctly when you leaned in further, wrapped your arms around my neck and made a breathless moaning sound into my mouth. It took all my willpower not to ask you to stay for at least another drink, as you had already dismissed the idea of dessert. I did not want to test my limit.

I enjoyed your company very much, and though you seem to have taken my compliments for empty words I can't express to you how much I enjoyed seeing you in that very becoming dress. Nor can I deny how very much I wanted to pull it off of you.

Awaiting your response,

_Draco Malfoy_


	16. House-Elf Revolts

A/N: Tobiume is also writing as Luna and Daphne. Thanks for your feedback! We hope you enjoy this latest update. -Tobiume

* * *

November 4, 2008 _(Sent 11:04 am)_

Draco,

I received your letter late last night and made the mistake of reading it before bed. I'm sure you'll be quite thrilled to know that I found it hard to sleep afterwards.

I don't find you to be weak in the least. It's only that sometimes your actions are somewhat difficult to decipher. At first, I was unsure why you kept writing to me, and the fact that I couldn't completely squash my own interest puzzled me, as well. But I'll admit that you've been on my mind quite often lately, especially after our last meeting. Your letter rather excited me, especially the last comment (although it was somewhat shocking) and I find myself looking very much forward to our next meeting. Perhaps this time we can linger over dessert. Shall we meet on Friday evening again?

When we meet next, I would like to hear more about your arrangement with your wife. We've spoken about it some, but I feel that further discussion is necessary if we are going to continue meeting.

Sincerely,

Hermione Granger

P.S. What gave you the impression that I still find you disagreeable?

* * *

November 4, 2008 _(sent 11:39 am)_

Dear Astoria,

You are most welcome. I wish I could have been there for your birthday, especially since you seem to be having a difficult time, and I apologize. Why don't you and Scorpius come visit us for a week or two instead? I know you feel that you should be home for Draco (honestly, Astoria, you really have to realize that Mother was teaching us positively _antiquated_ ideals), but really, if he's not being much of a husband to you, why bother?

If I've told you once, I've told you a hundred times: stop apologizing! I'm your sister, and I'm supposed to give you advice. I'm only sorry I wasn't able to advise you against Draco, but you wanted to make Mother happy and wouldn't listen to me. Of course he charmed you when he was courting you. He wanted to win you over. You have to know that Draco was never one to really open up to others, and that he has no time for those who won't stand up to him.

I don't know as much about his family as Pansy does (it's a pity she's so awful, as she'd have plenty of things to tell you about Draco), but I think that they as well prefer those who say things directly. Our family is very warm, but less inclined to say things directly. The Malfoys, on the other hand, are more reserved, but also more inclined to be blunt. They share words instead of affectionate embraces. I know that it's difficult for you because your ways are somewhat old-fashioned. I blame Mother, once again. I know that you prefer to remain pleasant and prevent arguments from happening by pretending that nothing is wrong, but sometimes a good quarrel is the best thing for a relationship. Draco is exactly the type to carry on doing exactly as he pleases, if you ignore his bad behavior. Even if he does notice that you're unhappy, he won't say anything about it. I know that you've tried communicating with him before, and all I can tell you to do is keep trying and be as direct as you can with him. As for his family, you may return Lucius' words with icy stares (you're quite good at those) and sweep grandly from the room, if he offends you. I know it might be too much for you to snap back at Lucius, but you may need to tell him that his criticisms are not welcome.

Pansy is…Pansy. I think your natures are simply incompatible, but at the same time, that really is too much. She pushes the limits of acceptable behavior. She always has. But if she's going to carry on in such a way in your home, you have every right to refuse to see her. I don't think that was unreasonable. I'll admit that I don't quite understand their relationship, but if they wish to continue it, they can see each other quite easily elsewhere. I don't think you'll ever convince Draco not to see Pansy. Although it usually seems like they hate each other, they're too close to end their friendship.

I don't want you to worry you, but you might try to find out more about Draco's long hours, especially if he's been working more than his normal schedule. Talk to him and ask why he's away from home so much. If the issue of children really is important to you (and I know that it is), keep bringing it up until you get a clear answer from him. It's quite cruel of him to have misled you. And why, in Merlin's name, does he not want more children? It isn't as if he spends much time with Scorpius. I doubt he'd even notice another child or two.

As for your intimacy issues, I really don't know what to say (except that of course I don't mind you confiding in me, and who do you think I would tell your troubles to, exactly?). You could always try to accommodate his preferences, but you can't do it simply because he wants you to. You have to enjoy what you're doing or else you'll be miserable and he likely won't enjoy it, either. I can only suggest that you insist on having a long discussion with him. I don't know that anything will improve unless you do so.

Please continue to write to me any time you are feeling lonely or troubled. I hope that you'll take me up on my offer; I would dearly love to see you and Scorpius, and I feel that a break from Draco may be what the both of you need.

Your loving sister,

Daphne

P.S. Keep an eye on your house-elf. I've been hearing some disturbing things about them lately.

* * *

November 5, 2008 _(sent 4:09 pm)_

Dear Hermione,

Are you well? I hope you'll be on the lookout for Wrackspurts. They're quite rampant this season. Harry wrote me some time ago to let me know that you and Ron have separated, so it may be somewhat difficult for you to think positive thoughts, but that's the best way to fight them off. I'm enclosing a pair of Spectrespecs that will help you see them.

I'm enclosing this month's _The Quibbler,_ as it features an articlethat might be of interest to you. The article covers the house-elf revolts earlier this year. My father had a secret source, and none of the other newspapers have published any information about it. Was that what you were discussing with Draco Malfoy last Friday? I saw you walking into the restaurant when I was shopping in Diagon Alley. He doesn't sneer quite as much as he used to, does he?

Would you like to subscribe to _The Quibbler_? I can get you a discount, of course.

With regards,

Luna Lovegood

* * *

November 6, 2008 _(sent 6:14 pm)_

Dear Luna,

Thank you for your concern, but I can assure you that I am quite free of Wrackspurts. Thank you for the Spectrespecs, however. My daughter Rose is quite fond of them, and I have instructed her to keep a lookout.

I'll take a look at _The Quibbler, _but I've heard nothing elsewhere about house-elf revolts, and I try to keep myself informed on all news concerning elves. Would you mind sending a letter to your source and asking them to stop in at my office? I'd like to hear what they have to say for myself.

And yes, Draco Malfoy and I were discussing house-elves. There's been some new legislation passed by the Ministry, and he had some questions but was unable to visit during business hours.

Thank you for your kind offer, but as The Ministry subscribes to _The Quibbler_, I can read it from my office.

I hope that you and your family are well.

Sincerely,

Hermione Granger

* * *

November 6, 2008 _(Sent 6:49 pm)_

Ginny,

Luna just sent me a letter asking me to subscribe to _The Quibbler. _She also said that she saw me with Draco Malfoy. She asks me to subscribe to _The Quibbler _every year, that's nothing new, but what if she tells Harry that I was with Draco? (Of course, she did assume that Draco and I were discussing the "recent house-elf revolts". It was all I could do to keep from laughing. She's very kind but really, house-elf revolts? They don't stand up for themselves; that's why they've had so much trouble with wizards in the past!)

I'm not any good at this. I don't like keeping secrets from people, but has enough time really passed that it's all right for Draco and I to be seen together? And there's still the matter of his marriage… Even if it is in name only, almost no one knows that. It would look awful if people realized that we were seeing each other. (He hasn't given me too many details about their arrangement, either. I want to know more before things go any further. I wonder why they don't just separate, as Ron and I have, if things aren't working out.)

And what if Ron found out? He'd never let me hear the end of it. I don't know what I'm doing. I was thinking of meeting Draco again on Friday, but perhaps I should cancel and tell him I can't see him anymore.

Hermione

P.S. Rose says "Hello, Dear Aunt Ginny," and she sends you a kiss (she blew a kiss and smacked it onto the letter).

* * *

November 6, 2008 _(Sent 9:17 pm)_

Hermione,

Oh, you're calling him "Draco" now? My, things are getting serious, aren't they?

All joking aside, of course it's up to you, but didn't you tell me that you enjoyed his company and that you were looking forward to seeing him again? I haven't seen you so excited about something in months. And you told me that you enjoyed kissing him. I think you should have fun and not worry about people finding out. You aren't doing anything wrong, and if people think you shouldn't be seeing him, well, who cares what they think?

But I would be careful of how you act in public, though, since he is still maintaining the front of a marriage. It's an awkward situation, certainly. But if you want to see him, you should. Although, however much he seems to have changed, I'd still be careful trusting a Slytherin. As in, I wouldn't.

Albus wished me to enclose a dead frog. Since I'm sure you wouldn't appreciate his gift, I threw it into the garden but am passing on the sentiment.

Ginny

P.S. House-elf revolts are nothing to joke about. Mum used to tell us a bedtime story about Mimsy the Mad House-elf. Thinking of it now still sends chills down my spine!


	17. En Route

November 4, 2008. (_Sent: 1:53 pm.__)_

Pansy,

Emergency drinks tonight. I may be en route to shag kingdom but I need you to weigh in. She is demanding more details about Astoria. Now my dilemma is this: Should I be brief and to the point, or should I invent some other circumstances? I know we always used to say _keep your lies on a short leash,_ but those were simpler times when we were only lying about cheating off exams and sneaking out to Hogsmede to get blasted on school nights. I do find it rather abysmal that I was better at deceit when I was fourteen... and do not suggest I am becoming more like a Hufflepuff in my later years because I will not stand for that kind of slander. I am merely a bit less wretched these days and less inclined to do terrible things... Without reason. Shall I see you tonight?

Not taking "no" for an answer.

Your friend,

_Draco_

* * *

November 4, 2008. (_Sent 4:30 pm._)

Dearest Draco,

NO! I am not at your beck and call, darling! I do not exist merely to stroke your ego. I'll have you know that tonight I am going to be dining with a very prestigious art collector that I met at Borgin and Burke's last auction. You are going to have to work out this one on your own, my cunning pet. Here's an idea, though: Why not just kill Astoria off, if you're going to be so complicated anyway? Wouldn't that make things easier? I think pathetic widower would look very charming on you~ you could skip a few meals and look even more gaunt than usual and try to sniffle a lot (remember, like you used to in Divinations when you wanted Professor Tre-barmey to give you an easy pass grade? _wah wah wah, Professor, do you see a lot of darkness in my future?_).

Is your Mud... OH SORRY, **MUGGLEBORN** girlfriend as stupid as that healer's assistant you were cheating on Aboringa with the last time? The one who to this day thinks Astoria is your sister and Scorpius is your little nephew? Not your finest moment, though I suppose you _were_ pissed. You know, one of these days these ill-conceived fibs are going to bite you on your pale little arse. You're right, you WERE a lot better at diabolical schemes, or at least knowing when to lie and when to be silent. But you seem so desperate for a roll in the sheets that you'd say just about anything. So, no you're not quite a Hufflepuff. But you're no Ravenclaw either, sweetheart.

Oh, did you want me to give you some real advice? Here it is: Keep it simple, don't look pathetic, and talk about INTERESTING topics. No woman wants you to talk TOO much about your "estranged" wife. Even if she finds you a bit suspicious, if you are dashing enough you can probably have off with her.

Now excuse me, I have to do my nails, and hair, and get a facial~

MWAH ! MWAH ! MWAH !

_Pansy xoxo_

* * *

November 4, 2008. (_Sent: 6:56 pm)_

Pans,

I hate you yet you did seem to make a few decent points which I suppose is why I still keep you around.

Have fun with your art dealer. I hope your makeover is drastic, or else you'll send him running for the hills before the waiter has time to send over dinner rolls.

Your friend,

_Draco_

* * *

November 4, 2008. (_Sent: 9:20 pm_.)

Hello Hermione,

I would be happy to answer any questions you have regarding my arrangement with Astoria if there was anything to say.

I feel as though I have gone over everything, and the dull details would bore you to tears. We are in the process of separation but as you might be able to imagine, that is difficult in a pureblood union. Certainly, laws have become more liberal, but it is still a bit humiliating that I should have to confess to my family that my wife had an affair and furthermore, chooses to estrange herself from me rather than work out our differences. However, it has been quite nice to have certain social freedoms, and I believe myself to finally be finished grieving over our botched marriage.

So, honestly, there is really not much to say. If you'd like to meet to discuss other pressing issues, such as say, house-elves or the weather, I would be inclined to meet.

_Draco Malfoy_


End file.
